i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
