Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
