She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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