She said her name was "party"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
