i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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