Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
