Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
