U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Randomize
