The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
