i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
