I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
