I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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