He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I AM VODKA MAN
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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