my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
