rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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