And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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