I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
