Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
