so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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