Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
