Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
