this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
