I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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