I'm jealous of your bromance
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
