There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize