I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
