quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I forgot wine drunk hurts