it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.