We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
