I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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