OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sorry about my life...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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