Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
