he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
