NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
