Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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