the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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