We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
