Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The uberlube is also flammable
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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