piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
