I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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