That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize