She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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