He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
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tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
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your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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