As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
