I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
