Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
