I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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