I just made out with a guy for $7.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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