I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
