I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
