do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
