HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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