Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
