Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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