Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
