Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize