i jhust puked up my retainher.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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