if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There's always time for handjobs
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
