I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
this hospital has no fireball
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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