Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
