Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
