If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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