new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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