you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
