i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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