what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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