Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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