That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
