I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
im holly from the hills drunk
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
