your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize