UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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