she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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