He asked to "fluff my boner.."
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
