No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
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The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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