he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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