You did not just play the dead husband card again.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
