Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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