Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize