Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
